


The Fever in His Blood

by Das_Hazel (mikuridaigo)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Fuck Or Die, Howdy AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pon Farr, Porn with Feelings, Star Trek AU, Starfleet, Vulcans, clear consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 15:24:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikuridaigo/pseuds/Das_Hazel
Summary: Kinkade unexpectedly experiences pon farr, and it's up to Captain Shirogane to save his helmsman.With his ass.-A Kinkashi Star Trek AU forTofu





	The Fever in His Blood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buffshiro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffshiro/gifts).



> Star Trek invented the fuck or die trope and I love Star Trek and so does Tofu so. Here we are.
> 
> See end for notes on Vulcan culture and stuff. This is really just porn. For reference: set in the Kelvin/Movie timeline. 
> 
> Also Spock isn't the only half Vulcan-half human hybrid, because I said so don't @ me
> 
> un-beta'd, please let me know if there's anything major to fix so i will do so!

It starts when Commander Veronica Sanchez runs out of the mess hall, screaming, as a bowl of soup is thrown in her direction. Shiro barely ducks in time but the soup still spills on his uniform. Veronica looks horrified for a brief second, before she stomps back in to demand answers. All other officers leave the hall, leaving Shiro to investigate himself.

What he doesn’t expect to see is his helmsman, Ryan Kinkade, standing defensively, as if ready to fight. His usual cool, half-Vulcan, composure is completely broken-- flared nostrils, sweating profusely, and dilated pupils.

“What is your problem Lieutenant?!” Veronica demands. “Your behavior will not be tolerated!”

Kinkade grunts, which isn’t an unusual reply from him if not for the fact he looks like a cornered animal.

“Commander,” Shiro says, stepping in front of her, “Let me handle this.”

“Are you sure?” She asks, “Do you want me to call security?”

“Have them on standby,” He says, gesturing her to leave. She eventually does, leaving the two alone in the messy dining hall.

Kinkade backs up to the wall, as if to get as far away as possible from his Captain. The look in his eyes are downright predatory. He keeps his stare on Shiro, ready to pounce him if provoked.

“Sir, I request that I take leave for New Vulcan at once.” His voice is strained, like speaking is a painful process.

Shiro crosses his arms. “Your request will be processed _if_ you tell me what’s going on.”

“This is not a subject spoken to outworlders.”

 _Outworlders_ , a term he’s never heard Kinkade say before, acting like he wasn’t part of the fleet.

“If it involves assaulting my officers, then it must be spoken about.” Shiro says, unmoving.

Kinkade has always been a quiet person, which apparently has nothing to do with his half Vulcan upbringing. Raised by a single, _human,_ father, Kinkade learned more of his Vulcan side through Starfleet and stories from his father. However, he was raised on earth, and never followed the traditions of Vulcans. His whole personality involves sitting and observing, only talking if absolutely necessary.

Shiro wants to respect the privacy his helmsman has established, but an outburst like this cannot be tolerated.

Kinkade stays by the wall. “I need to return to my room.”

There are two exits from the mess hall, one that Shiro stands in front of, and another just further out. No matter which one he chooses, Shiro is in his way, and will keep obscuring him until he gets an answer, or at least an apology for insubordination.

“Move.” Kinkade growls.

 _Not the time_ , he thinks to his dick, trying to ignore how _hot_ that was. “Answers, Lieutenant.”

When Kinkade tries to walk, Shiro pushes his human arm against his chest to stop him. As if to make his presence known, Kinkade presses against his arm. Their faces are just centimeters apart, and Shiro could see the saliva practically dripping from his lips. Shiro swallows nervously, focusing on pushing back when he feels Kinkade’s _huge_ bulge pressing on his thigh.

 _That’s just his phaser, that’s just his phaser--_ “Whoa, do you have a fever?”

With Kinkade so close, he can feel the heat radiating off him.

“As I’ve already said, I cannot speak of it with outsiders.”

Shiro frowns. “I don’t give a damn. Report to medbay first. I have a security team lead you there if I have to, and then we’re going to discuss proper disciplinary actions for your behavior, understood?”

He isn’t sure if Kinkade is even listening to him, but after a moment he sneers and nods his head. When he exits, two security officers are waiting for him, and they lead him to medbay.

It’s only then Shiro exhales the breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. He brings his human hand to his cheeks, feeling how flushed he is.

* * *

For a twenty-eight year old man, he feels like a flustered teenager from that encounter. Luckily there is no one around to see his arousal from Kinkade’s violent outburst. Hell, no one should be turned on with the way the man was about to rip his throat out, but when it came to Ryan Kinkade, Shiro’s heart swoons.

They met in the academy, Shiro was his professor, and Kinkade the student. Since all of Starfleet cadets were adults, relationships between professors and students were not necessarily forbidden, but heavily documented if the relationship began when the student was under the professor’s class.

Not that Shiro was going to try to date anyone. Still licking the wounds from his previous engagement, Shiro focused his time among all his students, and then himself to qualify as captain of the USS Atlas.

Even so, he snuck glances at the cadet, who walked into class tall, brooding, cute pointed ears, and oh so handsome. There’s been other Vulcans attending Starfleet ever since Commander Spock’s enrollment many years prior, but Kinkade stood out from everyone, a presence to be intimidated, and admired for.

Kinkade passed his class with flying colors, and apparently all his other courses because he was one of the most highly recommended for the Atlas or Enterprise. When given the choice, he chose the Atlas, and Shiro couldn’t have been more grateful to have him as his helmsman.

Even if that meant awkward staring during long shifts, wanting to know what Kinkade was thinking, what kind of food he liked, or his hobbies outside the ship. Even if it meant accidentally interrupting a gym session between him and Griffin, where Kinkade was completely shirtless and covered in sweat, and between Griffin’s legs, and how Shiro wished he took Griffin’s place instead.

Okay, so he had it bad for the guy who barely speaks unless spoken to first. But what he thought was pure physical attraction proved wrong when Kinkade once handed him a cup of coffee, and Shiro’s favorite sandwich, in the middle of their shift. “Please eat Captain, we’ll be arriving to Delta Vega shortly,” was all he said, and Shiro realized he was head over heels for him.

Which is why seeing him look so pained and out of control tugged at Shiro’s heart. He wants to help anyway he can, to fix whatever is setting him off. But the crew’s safety comes first. Balancing this will be tricky.

* * *

“What the hell do you think that was about?” Veronica asks as they walk to officer’s quarters.

“We’ll know soon enough.” Shiro says, “I have Romelle checking up on him now.”

Veronica winces. “I hope she has an answer. But this all started because some poor ensign bumped into him. If Romelle has to poke and prod he might lash out again.”

He wishes he knew that earlier, but all Shiro can hope is that Altean strength beats Vulcan if it came to that.

“Have security on standby in medbay. Were you hurt?” Shiro asks as they make it to Veronica’s quarters.

She shakes her head. “A little confused if anything, Kinkade’s never acted out in such a way. Do you think our trip on Voltis V affected him somehow?”

“Everyone came out--”

“Lieutenant, return here at once!”

Down the hall Kinkade practically sprints past them and just manages to make it to his bedroom, closing the door right in Romelle’s face. Her face hits the door and she falls down to her butt. Like a child, she pouts and crosses her arms. “Fine! See if I help you next time you get infected with Balrogan ticks!”

“Doctor?” Shiro asks as he and Veronica walk up to Kinkade’s door.

Romelle stands up with a huff, pigtails waving in their faces. “Sorry Captain, but Mr. Cranky-pants here walks into my office, and walks out the second I ask how he’s feeling. He tried to fight with security too!”

Just then Shiro receives a message on his communicator. It’s a leave request, from Kinkade, for immediate departure to New Vulcan.

This is getting out of control. His outbursts, violence against the crew, and outright ignoring his Captain’s orders’-- Shiro needs answers now.

“Romelle, can you tell us anything while he was in medbay?” Veronica asks.

“Just that his body temperature was way higher for a human and a Vulcan.” She fiddles with the tri-coder. “His testerone levels are off the charts! This doesn’t make any sense not unless… oh quiznack!” She starts running from the hallway, and knowing she has the answer somewhere, Shiro has no choice but to follow her.

“Veronica, you’re on the bridge. I’ll deal with Kinkade.”

“Sir?”

“Please, this feels like something I can’t just let slide.”

Before she can ask any more questions Shiro follows after Romelle.

He knows he is under no obligation to help Kinkade with whatever is happening to him. Any captain would have either forced him into medbay to be under observation, or to the brig for his behavior. But there was something in that heat fueled anger, that also showed desperation to be away, almost like a cry for help.

As captain of the USS Atlas, Shiro will do anything to protect his crew. He’s going to find an answer to Kinkade’s behavior and fix it from there.

He finds Romelle in her office, rummaging through several PADDs hand written notes until she finds what she’s looking for. “Ah-ha...” Her excitement quickly trails off as her eyes scan her notes. “Oh no.”

“What?”

* * *

_Pon Farr_.

That’s what Kinkade has. Or is going through…?

Romelle’s notes, while helpful, are also incomplete. On a technical standpoint, pon farr is the reproductive cycle of an adult Vulcan, a biological alarm reminding them that it is time to mate. The most concerning part of her notes is that if Kinkade does not mate within a week, he will die of a blood fever.

And that’s all she had. Many documents on Vulcan culture were destroyed in the Romulan Nero’s attack fifteen years prior, making Vulcans an endangered species. Though many elders, who preserved Vulcan culture, survived, the topic of sex is never spoken about to those outside the Vulcan race.

It’s a topic Shiro wouldn’t have to bring up, but now that his officer’s life is on the line, he’ll have to break down those boundaries.

“Kinkade, open up.” Shiro says, knocking on his door. “We have to discuss this.”

There’s no answer, of course.

“I will use my override to get in. I know about pon farr.”

The door opens then, and Shiro practically stumbles in. The room is _scorching_ , and the air too thick to properly breathe in.

The door swishes closed, with Kinkade standing right by it. He's shirtless with his chest glistening with sweat. “How do you know what that means?”

“Got a doctor who studied Vulcan anatomy.” Shiro says, looking him in the eye instead of his abs.

“She’s not supposed to know, and neither should you. Do you accept my request for leave?”

“We are heading to New Vulcan as we speak,” Kinkade relaxes for a moment, “but I have questions that need answers.” And the tension returns.

“Whatever Romelle has explained is enough of an answer.”

“Not if it involves your death!”

Kinkade visibly flinches, and Shiro deflates. He doesn't mean to upset him like this, and now he’s seen Kinkade angry and scared. He isn’t sure what to do.

“My reason for going to New Vulcan is to prevent my death.”

“But how? Do you _have_ to mate to live? There has to be a cure--”

“No!” Kinkade snaps, “There isn’t one. None that there is record of. This is the easiest way.”

“Kinkade, you asked us to drop you off at a _brothel_.” Kinkade eyes him suspiciously. “I looked at the coordinates you gave me. I didn’t know Vulcan had a red light district.”

Kinkade brushes past him, moving to his bed to crawl under the covers. “They didn't, but now that Vulcans are scarce, many have lost their bondmates. To stop this fever, we have to mate, species doesn't matter.”

“Whoa, I’m lost.” Shiro says. He pulls up a chair and sits next to the bed. “Mating a stranger? Bondmate?” Kinkade groans, curling up in a ball. Shiro thinks he’s in pain. “Do you need me to get Romelle?”

“ _No_ ,” Shiro only nods, and Kinkade grunts again before continuing. “Vulcans are… bonded, mentally, when we’re 7, so when we reach adulthood, we are ready for marriage. When Vulcan was destroyed, my mother, and my bondmate died.”

“Ryan…” Shiro says, his voice full of regret. He had known that his mother died in the attack, but had no idea his _bondmate_ did too. That is too many deaths for someone so young. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“ _I grieve with thee_.” Ryan corrects, sarcastically. “That’s what they said to my dad.” He pauses for a second before continuing. “We thought, with how young my bond was severed, and being raised human on earth, that pon farr would not affect me. Obviously, I was wrong.”

Shiro isn’t sure what to say to that based on his lack of knowledge on Vulcan biology. But one thing’s for sure, he isn’t going to let him die.

“We still won’t reach New Vulcan for another two days. Romelle said this fever lasts a week, and if you don’t mate in seven days you’ll die. How much worse will this get?”

Ryan lets out a shaky laugh. “I feel shitty now Captain, I can’t imagine what worse is.”

He hates seeing him like this, and he hates he can’t do anything to help.

Except now that he has all the information needed, one thing does come up. Something completely inappropriate. “Does it have to be a stranger?”

Kinkade sighs. “Preferably not, according to the Vulcan elders, but it can be done.”

“So you’re saying it’ll be better if you had sex with someone you know?”

“Yes, but I cannot ask anyone on the ship to… _assist,_ in my situation. That is inappropriate and I refuse to coerce anyone by using my life.”

“And what if you’re not coercing anyone? If they offered themselves to you?” Kinkade raises an eyebrow, questioning what Shiro is saying. Finally, Shiro just spills it. “Let me help you.”

“No!” Kinkade says, pushing himself as far away from Shiro as possible. He tries not to feel hurt at the rejection. “That is… something-- Captain,” Kinkade tries, “If we do this, I don’t know how much I can hold back.”

“What? It’s just sex.” Shiro says, mostly to convince himself that’s exactly what it is. “I also don’t mind it being a bit rough.”

“The brothels have those who can withstand Vulcan strength,” he explains, “Those who will not be attached when I inevitably try and connect our minds and-- I-I’ve said too much.”

“No, Ryan, please.” Shiro says, holding his composure to stop himself from begging. “If there is any way to satiate the fever before we arrive I want to help. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

“Captain,” Kinkade whimpers, “I-I can’t control myself around you, not like this.”

Shiro’s heart flutters, knowing exactly what he means. “So don’t. Let me help you.”

In a swift movement, Kinkade was right in front of him. Before Shiro can react he feels those hot lips connect with his own, and a tongue slips in easily. Shiro goes limp in his arms, and lets Kinkade completely take control.

Kinkade pulls him to his bed, and rolls over so that he’s on top. He holds Shiro’s wrists down to the sides of his head as he continues attacking his lips, licking and biting as he pleases. Shiro reacts, his hips thrusting for a bit of friction for his hard on. Kinkade grinds back down, and Shiro breaks the kiss just to moan.

Kinkade trails down to his jawline, nipping at his skin till he reaches his neck, and then he bites down, hard. Shiro cranes his neck, giving Kinkade more room to do whatever he wanted to him-- bite him, suck him, leave a dark mark so the whole ship knows what they’ve done.

Hands claw at Shiro’s shirt, but before he can take it off himself Kinkade just rips it in one big tear. “Holy shit.”

“Hng, sorry Captain but--” Kinkade licks his nipple and Shiro completely forgets about his now ruined clothes.

He fumbles with his pants as Kinkade takes his other pec in his hand and massages it. He’s just so sensitive around his chest, and Kinkade’s tongue lapping wet circles and trying to milk him isn’t helping. The front of his pants tighten, and he’s barely able to push them down to his thighs when Kinkade bites down, and he feels the precum soak his boxers.

Kinkade notices too, so he leaves Shiro’s chest just to help him with his pants, and then his own. Lying underneath him, Shiro feels so small, and Kinkade so dominating. He’s chiseled like a god, a hot god whose only purpose is to fuck Shiro senseless.

Kinkade attacks his lips again, but this time he grinds his hips down against Shiro’s crotch. Only Shiro has his boxers still on, but when he tries to take them off Kinkade holds his hands back in place. “Let me.”

Shiro only nods to that, feeling those calloused and large hands paw at his lower half. When the boxers finally come off Kinkade eyes his entire body, scars and all. He suddenly feels so self conscious, but before he can curl himself up Kinkade leans in and kisses the scar on his chest, then the one on his side. “ _Ashayam_.”

Shiro has no idea what he just said, but all thoughts fade when Kinkade takes his cock and swallows him. Shiro bulks up his hips causing Kinkade to pull back. “Sorry…”

Kinkade just dives right back in, slurping and licking Shiro’s dick like it was his favorite meal. Shiro lies back into the pillows, gripping onto Kinkade’s sheets as he concentrates not coming just yet. But Kinkade teases him in all the right places that every time he feels on edge, he tries to think of something else just so he doesn’t spoil the fun. The dead tribbles in Romelle’s office, Holt’s laundry, Veronica’s cooking--

“Whoa!” He pulls away just as Kinkade tries push a finger in.

Kinkade pops off his dick with a concerned expression. “Sorry, I thought you’d be okay with bottoming. Do you want to switch?”

Shiro shakes his head, face completely red. “I-it’s not that! I haven’t… ah… cleaned myself.” He’s a total bottom, and a good bottom knows to clean up for his partner. When he offered himself to Kinkade he didn’t expect it to happen right then and there, but with how intoxicating his kisses are, he was more than willing to get laid now, just not at the expense of being under-prepared and filthy.

Kinkade nods, understanding, and takes Shiro in his arms and heads for the bathroom. There, he drops Shiro into the shower, and uses the water instead of the sonics. “Heh, careful, limited water supply.” Shiro reminds him. Kinkade rolls his eyes and lets the water run between Shiro’s ass. He tosses Shiro some cleaning gel.

Squeezing a good amount on his fingers, Shiro reaches behind him and starts cleaning, but with Kinkade wet and naked and so close to him, he can’t help but get turned on. Kinkade notices too, his eyes unmoving from Shiro’s fingers, and cock twitching.

Smiling, Shiro leans down, and uses his free hand to take Kinkade in his mouth. Kinkade holds onto the shower wall, finding balance as Shiro laps his tongue around the head. He’s huge, though Shiro has imagined that, and so he hollows his mouth as best as he can to take more in. Kinkade grunts above him, and when Shiro looks up, he sees his helmsman closing his eyes and biting down on his lips, trying to silence himself.

Shiro wants to hear him, he wants to know how he’s affecting him, so Shiro shoves two fingers in himself and moans around Kinkade’s dick. He feels Kinkade shiver, and he takes him further, feeling him it the back of his throat.

A hand grips his hair, holding him in place. Shiro hums happily and continues sucking and fingering, very grateful he’s always been a great multitasker.

Shiro pushes in as much as he can, and when his nose reaches Kinkade’s pelvis he’s suddenly pulled back. A string of saliva connects from his lips to the head of his cock, and Shiro pouts. “What?”

“Sorry Captain, I was about to come.”

“Do it.” Shiro begs, voice strained. “Please.”

Kinkade nods and leads Shiro’s head back to his cock. Taking his fingers out of his ass, Shiro uses both hands to hold onto Kinkade’s thighs, and he sucks eagerly, greedy and fast, until he feels Kinkade lightly thrusting. His tongue slips around the head, finding his sensitive spot that has Kinkade finally coming. He feels Kinkade grip onto his hair holding him in place as he spills into his mouth.

Shiro chokes slightly, but swallows what he can before pulling off. Kinkade brings him up and crash their lips together. Shiro opens his mouth, and Kinkade tastes every bit of himself and Shiro.

When they pull away, Kinkade presses their foreheads together. “Captain, ashayam…”

They touch chest to chest, and Shiro feels Kinkade growing hard again. “Let’s go to bed.” Shiro says.

They turn off the water, and barely drying off they eventually tumble their way back to the bedroom. Shiro is pushed onto the bed, and he spreads his legs as Kinkade climbs on top of him.

Kinkade caresses his face, and Shiro leans into his touch. Despite the fever, Kinkade’s hands are cool and comforting.

“Captain, you have done so much already. We can stop here.”

“Takashi.” Shiro corrects, “Call me Takashi.”

Kinkade smiles, and just holds him like he’s the most precious thing in the universe. “ _Takashi_ , you are too good to me.”

Shiro shivers at Kinkade’s voice. He hasn’t asked anyone to call him by his first name since his ex-fiancee, but it comes off so naturally from Kinkade that he wants to beg him to say his name again.

“Are you still on pon farr?” Kinkade nods, embarrassed. “Then take me, Ryan.”  

Kinkade gives him a harsh kiss before reaching over to his nightstand to try and find his lubrication. “What about the ship?” He asks. “My shift is over but what about yours?”

“Shit,” Shiro says, “Where’s my PADD?”

It was on the floor between their ripped clothes. Right after Shiro takes it Kinkade goes down between his legs and kisses his cock. Shiro whines as lube slides down, and then a finger enters him.

It’s only one finger, and from stretching earlier he isn’t too affected with just one. He types out a message to Veronica, telling her he’s handling the Kinkade situation and will be off duty for the next 24 hours, and then one to Griffin, informing that he will be taking over the next shift after Veronica.

When he sends the message the PADD almost falls out of his hand, because Kinkade just shoves his tongue in his ass and Shiro almost screams. He squeezes his legs around Kinkade, keeping him in place till Kinkade pushes his thighs apart. He pulls away for a second with a chuckle. “Almost suffocated me there Takashi.”

Shiro laughs with him. “Sorry…”

Kinkade dives right back in, and Shiro falls into the pillows and just enjoys being stretched and eaten out. Kinkade’s tongue is hot, and he goes in deep. Two fingers join his tongue, and after a moment Kinkade pulls his tongue out, just to replace it with two more fingers. Shiro whines and squirms, doing his best to thrust down and help himself. When Kinkade presses his prostate, Shiro throws his head back.

“Ryan, Ryan I’m ready, _please_.”

“Okay, okay…” Kinkade squeezes more lube on his dick, and once he’s covered he aligns himself with Shiro’s entrance. “Hold onto me.” Kinkade says, and Shiro quickly wraps his arms around his neck.

Even with preparation, Shiro holds his breath when the head of his cock presses in. It’s a slight burn as he takes him in, and despite the fever, Kinkade holds himself back, going slow so that he doesn’t hurt him.

He feels so full, so hot, and he feels like he’s in the right place. Kinkade hides his face in his shoulder, breathing heavily. “Takashi, I won’t hold back.”

“Good.” Shiro says. “Fuck me Ryan.”

The first thrust is brutal, he pulls out almost all the way and just slams right back into him. He doesn’t hold back from there, continually slamming in and out of him and leaving Shiro a screaming mess. His whole body burns with him, withering and begging for more.

Kinkade pulls back, leaving Shiro’s arms empty, until he hikes up one of Shiro’s legs over his shoulder to get a better angle. Shiro feels so open and exposed, displayed just for Ryan, and yet he moans and begs for him not to stop.

The pressure builds in him, and Shiro grabs his cock and starts pumping. “That’s right Takashi,” Ryan says, “Do it, come on yourself.”

“Ahh, Ry-aaaa!” He does, coming on his chest and some hitting his cheeks, and Kinkade keeps going.

“Fuck, Takashi, that’s so hot.” Shiro goes limp, so Kinkade rolls him on his stomach and puts a pillow under him. “Relax, I got you.”

Shiro just whimpers into his pillow as Kinkade continues to use his body. The wet slapping of skin echos in his room. Kinkade’s grunts grow louder, so he drops down on Shiro’s back and bites his ear. Shiro reaches behind him, gripping Kinkade’s dreads to hold him right there. “Come inside me.” Shiro begs. “Please, please come inside me.”

“Takashi, _I ashaya du_ ,” With a final thrust he feels Kinkade’s cock pulse inside him. His warm seed fills him up and leaks out as Kinkade stays buried inside him.

The warmth never fades, but Shiro starts to drift off. When he closes his eyes he realizes there’s something there, in his head. It can see what he thinks, what he feels, but another feeling washes over him, like another set of emotions not belonging to him-- gratefulness, worship, _love_. He wants to fall into that comfort and lie in there forever.

* * *

He wakes up to a damp cloth wiping between his legs. He tries to talk, but can’t find the energy to lift his head up. A warm hand runs through his hair. Shiro moans and nuzzles into the pillow. “Ryan?”

“Hey Captain,” Kinkade says. “How are you feeling?”

“Hmm, great.” He says, trying to hide the disappointment they’re back to ‘Captain’. “Feels like a ship hit my head though.” The hand in his hair stops moving and pulls back. Shiro rolls on his back to look at Kinkade, only to be met with guilty eyes. He feels that same guilt coarse through his body, though he isn’t sure why. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He _looks_ better, no more crazed eyes and intimidating growling. But instead of his stoic face, he wears worry and guilt.

“Captain...I believe I have made a mistake.”

Oh, so it’s that kind of pillow talk huh? He should have seen it coming, knowing that this was to simply help out a crewmate and nothing more.

“No mistake,” He tries to reassure, “I completely consented to this, we’re fine Kinkade.”

The guilt hits him again, but not the guilt Shiro actually feels. He feels guilty, sleeping with his crewmate and having more feelings than he should, but this other guilt is almost dreadful, as if he’s done a terrible, unexcusable act.

Kinkade’s silence now scares him. “Ryan? Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

Kinkade’s face falls. “Captain, I believe I may have accidentally bonded us, mentally, during sex.”

“...Oh?”

Another beat of silence between them. “And… I did not ask for your consent on that.” Kinkade continues, catching on Shiro’s confusion. “That is one of the greatest crimes committed for Vulcans. I thought I could control myself better but… Captain, please understand I will do everything possible to break it, and I will turn myself into Starfleet.”

“Whoa, whoa!” Shiro sits up and places his hand on top of Kinkade’s. “Turning yourself in? Ryan, you’ve done nothing wrong to me. I don’t even know what you mean by bonding us mentally.”

Kinkade’s laugh is dry as he shakes his head. He brings two fingers to Shiro’s temple.

“Do you feel what I feel? Because right now I feel how scared and confused you are, but also so much love and concern-- emotions I do not deserve from you.”

The guilt pulses through him again. “That’s...you? In my head?”

Kinkade nods. “Captain, you were too nice to me, already giving your body for my pon farr, but I can’t invade your mind. This was just…” Kinkade pauses, and then, “Oh.”

He can feel what Kinkade feels, which means Kinkade is receiving his emotions too. And in that moment, his heart clenches, because it wasn’t just about sex. Shiro likes him, a lot, and he’s going to pretend that this casual one night stand is good enough, because Kinkade doesn’t feel the same way.

And all those thoughts and insecurities are transferred to Kinkade.

Kinkade blushes, but doesn’t move. “You… like me Captain?”

“Well I guess there’s no use hiding.” Shiro says. “I do. A lot. And sleeping with you was selfish on my part too, I didn’t want you to suffer the fever, but for a night, I thought I can have you, to help you anyway I can. And I was prepare to move on.”

The guilt on Kinkade’s side is still there, but so is relief. “Captain, I owe you my life. You saved me from the fever, from the _plak tow_ , and yet I still took advantage by invading your mind like this. I don’t deserve your love.”

Shiro just shrugs. “Well, you have it. I’ve liked you, for a long time Ryan.”

Another wave of gratefulness, and warmth. “You never said.”

“I… wasn’t sure if you were interested. Not until earlier.”

Kinkade visibly winces. “Ah, the pon farr made it harder for me to hide that from you.” A blush forms on his face and the tips of his ears. “Takashi, I’ve liked you since taking your class at the academy, and I was more than happy that you accepted me for your bridge. You’re always so concentrated on the crew, on the mission, I also didn’t think you were interested, in anyone.”

Shiro laughs at that, a genuine laugh because he brought that on himself. After his breakup, he focused so much on the academy, on ranking up to be captain of his own ship, and now caring for a crew of 1000, of course he took a personal relationship out of the picture. Even admiring Kinkade from the classroom and on his ship, Shiro thought staying away would be best.

But now their confessions sends solace through both of them. The secrets they’ve hid from each other now in the open, and pulling them closer than before.

“The bond though,” Kinkade says, “We can still have it broken on New Vulcan, if you want.”

“Why would I want that?” Shiro asks.

“It was still made without your consent. I take full responsibility for my actions, and I won’t be offended with a broken bond.”

The thing is, Shiro doesn’t feel like he was invaded. The new presence in his mind was surprising, yes, but being able to feel what Kinkade feels brought some security to him, a sense of deep trust between the two men.

“I think, I want to keep it.” Shiro says. He feels Kinkade’s confusion. “No, I know I do. It’s different, but I like it, knowing you and I are this close. That is, if you’re okay with that.”

“More than you know.” Kinkade reassures, and yes, Shiro does know.

He cups Shiro between his hands and pulls him in for a deep kiss. It’s not as sensual as their first time, instead soft and careful. “Thank you, for choosing me Takashi.”

“Thank you for choosing me too.” _Scars and all_ , he thinks. Of course Kinkade feels that, so he peppers his face and body with kisses, each one landing on a scar. Shiro giggles and lets himself be loved.

* * *

When he’s back on the bridge, Shiro cancels their trip to New Vulcan and they return to their usual course. A day later he receives a message from Starfleet, inquiring about a change in marital status.

He calls Admiral Kirk, since he is the one who sent the message, but the blonde man wiggles his eyebrows and says, “A little birdie told me you got hitched to a Vulcan. Thought I should send the papers now, considering I had no idea it was the equivalent of a marriage certificate until 3 years into my own relationship.”

Shiro’s confused, because he hasn’t announced his relationship to his own crew, and Kinkade definitely isn’t one to talk.

“I’m sorry Admiral, who told you about this?”

Kirk turns to his PADD. “Griffin? Your beta shift officer.”

* * *

_“I am so sorry Captain! But regulations state that in the event of an engagement or marriage, Starfleet must be informed so that the married parties may be paired together for future deployment.”_

_“No, I mean, thank you? But how did you know?”_

_“...Kinkade’s room is connected to mine and ah… the vents… were open...”_

“...”

Shiro and Griffin didn’t look each other in the eye for the next week.

**Author's Note:**

> Kinkade moves into Shiro's room later so James never has to suffer again. 
> 
> Ashayam: beloved  
> I ashaya du: I love you
> 
> I wanna say Kinkade, though growing up human, knew these words because his mom said that to his dad ok awesome. 
> 
> Pon Farr: A stage in a Vulcan's life, where they have to mate. If they don't mate within a certain time period, they will die  
> Plak Tow: the later stage of Pon Farr, the fever is higher, they are more aggressive, and when not satiated will lead to a violent death 
> 
> So spoilers (?) for the first Star Trek reboot movie but I feel like over explaining, but in the movies Spock's planet, Vulcan, is destroyed, with only 10,000 or so surviving. Though the movies never explained Spock's original bondmate, and tbh I think they forgot that entirely, including Pon Farr. So, here it is. Thank you for reading and you can find me on [ twitter](https://twitter.com/Das_Hazel)


End file.
